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FinalImpact

FinalImpact

2 Da Street, Knobs R Gone
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My Moma made me laugh! She makes me laugh almost everyday though.... I am her favorite child.... lol ......... This is a pic of us on the way to the Hospital,after she ate a can of expired mushrooms in her Spaggetti sauce.... LMAO!!!
 
This is a History Channel documentary. Loose grip and bike gets away twice. . . Worth a watch
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTfKJFrUi9w]200 MPH Motorcycle Crash - YouTube[/ame]
 
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Nelly said:
well the shrooms don't look like they caused her any harm. Great picture.
Click to expand...
LOL yea she pulled through un-scathed!! LOL there are video tapes of her telling jokes at work to a group of women thats as good as any comedian I know.. she is a lunch-lady to put the iceing on the cake too!! lol I love my Moma she is the best!! :D
 
On July 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed
 
Getting overtaken by a white Lamborghini that was doing a million miles and hour just to filter past it at traffic lights 30 seconds later
 
MX vs THE BOG! Kinda funny

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l20q759IL4Y]Official Enduroland World War Whaddon - YouTube[/ame]
 
In these places you gotta have a sense of humor. . .
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD551IUzbwk]Best of Military Humor/Pranks - YouTube[/ame]
 
Pulled into a parking spot at a Store 24 of sorts. An old lady gets out of her car and stares at my bike. She goes: "Is that a Haahhley?" I say no, it's a Yamaha. She goes, "A what? It looks like a Haahhley".

I lol'ed once in the store.
 
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"

The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"
 
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, I think I got most of them back in."
 
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