I don't know what to make of all this...

[DownrangeFuture]

At my daughter's psycology appointment on wednesday she was diagnosed as having asperger like symptoms. Although the way it happened gave me plenty of reason to take pause.

At any rate, this is how it happened. I was staring out the window looking at the way the clouds were formed. It was breathtaking almost the way they rolled out and were only black on the very bottom tips of the waves. The sunlight shone through the lighter part of the clouds in streaks and just looked amazing with the misting from the clouds. The muted sunlight hit the building across the river and made the tan color of the bricks just pop.

Wait., I thought to myself, I should be listening to the shrink, she's talking about my daughter after all.

I turned around to see the Dr looking at my hands. I had been fidgeting with them. I had the middle finger on my right hand twirling in my left palm. So, I started rubbing my hands on my pants, embarrassed.

"So, dad, what do YOU think about all of this?" she asked me.

What do I think about what? Oh, right, daughter... "I personally don't think there's anything wrong with her. She's a bit extreme in her emotions sometimes but that's just something you learn to deal with growing up. I mean, she's really just like me."

"Yes she is. She has signs of AS. You were diagnosed with a depressive disorder, yes?"

"Yep."

"And I'll bet your meds work for awhile and then stop working for you, no matter how big the doseage is."

"Yeah."

"Perhaps your depression is a symptom, not the core condition."

She then went on to describe issues my daughter would likely face growing up and what other conditions often suddenly appear in people with AS(aspergers syndrome). And she made it clear that we believe that AS is a genetic gene, possibly dominant. After exhausting research (It's all I've done since the appointment) I came to believe in her hints that I might have it. I can only say this because I will most likely never meet you guys. I can also see it in my father and grandfather. And clinical depression of various severities is a common comorbid condition of AS.

So, now I need to figure out how to tell my doctors they might have got my diagnosis wrong and probably fight the concept that only children can have AS. For some reason, some doctors seem to think that people who were kids before the diagnosis became offical can't have AS. Seeing how AS is on the high end of autism... you can't just grow out of that.

And I'm rambling. So, here's these quizzes just for fun. And my results! No obligation to post yours or anything. But I think it's fun. (Neurotypical results are in brackets)

BAPQ: Autistic/HFA [Neurotypical]
AQ: 41 [0-20]
EQ SQ-R: 3 for EQ and 98 for SQ end result: Extreme Systemizer. [This should be balanced]
EIQ Test: 55 that puts me in the 0.18 percentile. [155-255]
HSP: 16 [14 or less]
I scored a 28 on the Reading the Eyes test meaning that with the low EIQ score I can read faces well enough, but have a hard time doing so in fluid or dynamic situations. [Normal is 20-32]
Aspie Quiz: 149 AS, 61 NT [Should have a high NT and a low AS score]
RAADS-R: 169 [21.8 average for NT people, my wife scored a 38]

In the end it's nice to know why I don't understand social situations, or I'm unable to tell when someone is going to be offended by something I say or ask. It's like trying to speak a foriegn language to me.

"Parlez-vous Francais?"

Umm... Ah... "Je parle Fracias en peu? I think..."

So, to cap my ramble off, here's a little comic Dude, I'm an Aspie!

EDIT: And the first commenter is an ass. If I could act normal, don't you think I would? I realise that everyone lands somewhere on the autusim spectrum, but when it's made it so that I don't have friends, and I hate hanging out with people from work cause they'll just make fun of me... Or when I hate going to church solely because of all the people there that insist on talking to me. Throwing off my schedule makes me meltdown, or come really close. That becomes an impairment, and you should know if you have that impairment.

 

[DownrangeFuture]

Oh and my original point that I totally rambled on and forgot about, was that I'm in the military with this. WTF? How did they not catch that I tried to stab someone on my last deployment. And it wasn't a bad guy.

They sent me to mast for it, and it was, "Oh, that's just Pyle. He's weird and doesn't mean anything by it." Which is true I guess, but still.

 

[ChevyFazer]

Ive herd of AS before but never really knew much about it so I just read a good little bit about it on webmd to educate myself and it clearly says that adults can still have it if they did during there childhood so your doctors....well I dont know exactly what to say about them I guess they are just being the typical know it all and cant ever be wrong, I hate drs like that if they misdiagnose something they should be able to admit to their mistake. But as far as you being in the service I say try to use it to your benefit of what ever your job or task might be. that goes for the symptom of being extremely devoted, and being extremely good at it ......just try not to stab anyone else

Sent from my R800x using Tapatalk

 

[DownrangeFuture]

Yeah... That was a really bad meltdown. And also why I'm not allowed to carry weapons in the military anymore.

 

[Mac fz6n]

Hey Mate,

Thanks for sharing :thumbup:

I can understand everything your going through, I have two kids on the spectrum.
My little girl is high functioning autistic and my boy is asperges. (7 and 5)

I have alot of aspy signs (not diagnosed) and the wife is bi-polar. definately genetic.

The best advice I can give you is to do lots of research, then do some more...

We were told that our daughter probably wouldn't be able to attend "normal" schooling etc,
She spent one year at ASPECT (school for autism) and now goes to a main stream school.
She does need alot of support, routines etc, but she is the top of her class in most subjects.

My boy starts school next year, he's going straight to main stream school.(same one as daughter)
We were lucky enough to find one that is willing to assist with routines and listen to our suggestions on how best to deal with meltdowns and stressful situations.

Both kids struggle in social situations, but with the right preparation and lots of strategies we get by.


Knowledge is your best bet for success.

The wife and I never stop reading about it, watching shows and searching for new info.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Mac.

 

[Kaisersoze]

At my daughter's psycology appointment on wednesday she was diagnosed as having asperger like symptoms. Although the way it happened gave me plenty of reason to take pause.

At any rate, this is how it happened. I was staring out the window looking at the way the clouds were formed. It was breathtaking almost the way they rolled out and were only black on the very bottom tips of the waves. The sunlight shone through the lighter part of the clouds in streaks and just looked amazing with the misting from the clouds. The muted sunlight hit the building across the river and made the tan color of the bricks just pop.

Wait., I thought to myself, I should be listening to the shrink, she's talking about my daughter after all.

I turned around to see the Dr looking at my hands. I had been fidgeting with them. I had the middle finger on my right hand twirling in my left palm. So, I started rubbing my hands on my pants, embarrassed.

"So, dad, what do YOU think about all of this?" she asked me.

What do I think about what? Oh, right, daughter... "I personally don't think there's anything wrong with her. She's a bit extreme in her emotions sometimes but that's just something you learn to deal with growing up. I mean, she's really just like me."

"Yes she is. She has signs of AS. You were diagnosed with a depressive disorder, yes?"

"Yep."

"And I'll bet your meds work for awhile and then stop working for you, no matter how big the doseage is."

"Yeah."

"Perhaps your depression is a symptom, not the core condition."

She then went on to describe issues my daughter would likely face growing up and what other conditions often suddenly appear in people with AS(aspergers syndrome). And she made it clear that we believe that AS is a genetic gene, possibly dominant. After exhausting research (It's all I've done since the appointment) I came to believe in her hints that I might have it. I can only say this because I will most likely never meet you guys. I can also see it in my father and grandfather. And clinical depression of various severities is a common comorbid condition of AS.

So, now I need to figure out how to tell my doctors they might have got my diagnosis wrong and probably fight the concept that only children can have AS. For some reason, some doctors seem to think that people who were kids before the diagnosis became offical can't have AS. Seeing how AS is on the high end of autism... you can't just grow out of that.

Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share that with us.

I dont have AS but I heard this gentleman on the radio who does have AS talk about his life story, his path to success, and how he dealt with all the trials and tribulations of not being diagnosed till he was in his 50's. The book is really good in my opinion. I think it could help anyone who has difficulties in social situations, not just people with AS or semi-AS. I certainly hope I dont sound preachy cause thats not my intention, but Im pretty sure I have ADD (Add the H for when I was a kid) and its helped my sort some things out.

Title: "Be Different: Adventures of a Free-Range Aspergian with Practical Advice for Aspergians, Misfits, Families & Teachers"

 

[DownrangeFuture]

Yeah, that kept popping up in my research along with his new book.

And I also understand why cats like me so much now. Any motion that feels calming can quickly turn into a stim. Like petting a soft furred cat. But I don't really care for them, so I ignore them until they want petting, and suddenly I have to sit there and pet them.

It's also why I like motorcycles. It's one of my special interests, and I obsess over it. Also when I have my helmet on and earplugs in its fairly quiet and the noise I do hear is mostly white noise. And I'm not surrounded by people anymore, just machines. Then I can relax and hyper-focus on improving my skills.

Maybe that's why weekends are so hard for me. The routine changes, and I don't ride my bike. :don'tknow: And that post made absolutely no sense or had no continuity... Usually I fix these and start over, but maybe it's a window into the difficulties I have communicating. At least I finally fixed my stutter and learned to look people in the eye sort of.

 

[Wolfman]

The fact that you are talking about it on this forum, is a great indication that you are dealing with this issues, or issues, like an informed, and well thought out individual, i am sure that whatever challenges you, and, or your daughter face, will be met with a dilegent attitude towards making the best out of an "arkward" and "challenging" set of "conditions" on your life (s), keep your chin up, this is not "irregular", but more so a "reality" for so many people out there these days....

:thumbup:

 

[Motogiro]

Yes! It takes courage to share these things. A name that pops into my mind is Temple Grandin. They made a movie about her IMDb - Temple Grandin (TV 2010) and she really has had courage and tenacity in her struggles. She is just so awesome. If you do have Asperger's (sp?) I'll bet there's a diamond attached. If you look you'll find it....

Thank you for sharing with our community! :rockon:

Here's her website: Dr. Temple Grandin's Official Autism Website

 

[DownrangeFuture]

I watched one of her two hour lectures actually. That's why I know where my issues with hearing hard consonants comes from. If I'm not closely paying attention, or if there's lots of background noise, they get lost and all I hear are the vowels. Try figuring out words without vowels.

Of course I read lips very well.

You spelled Asperger's correctly. It's a German name.

 

[Wolfman]

My PA's son has Autism, he looks normal, and appears normal to most casual observers, but the reality is quite different....

My PA, who is a pretty determined woman, decided that she was sick of people looking at her like a "Bad Mum" when the boy "loses his $hit" in publicx, so she did something about it, she started her own foundation, the "Autism Awareness Angels", now, every event m ycompany does with models, my PA puts the girls out on stage for a parade, in a red t-shirt that says "i am autism aware...are you", and gets the girls to hand out information brochures that describe autism, and it's many variants, some mild, some not so mild, etc...

I love this, cause my PA has managed to take a BIG negative in her life, and turn it into a positive education process for anyone who cares to listen.

:thumbup:

 

[Nelly]

I think that Steph (lady member) has a child with Asperger syndrome?
Forgive me if this is incorrect.
I also worked with a Nurse in the UK who's son has Asperger syndrome, Jan was able to relieve some of the severity of her child's autism by dietary input.
It was so successful that her child entered into main stream school.
She also got a dog for the child. Well that's not true. A neighbours dog chose the child and they became inseparable.

Good luck

Nelly:thumbup:

 

[lonesoldier84]

My personal opinion is that as a species, we have a certain amount of genetic drift in our population. There exists a spectrum of personality types and each exhibit benefits and drawbacks. I see it as nature's way of trying to push in any direction that will take it. Positive trends are retained and negative trends are bred out.

While extreme emotions may at times make for socially awkward situations, I say to hell with the people getting their panties in a twist over something happening in their days that forces them out of their little drone comfort boxes.

Unless your daughter is experiencing things which cause a tremendous and ongoing amount of suffering, healthy lifestyle choices will be enough to grind through it all and enjoy her life as she was designed to enjoy it. Sometimes just because something isn't "normal" doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means you need to embrace it for what it is. Life comes in an assortment and wide range of colours. You can't choose which one you want but each is as bloody brilliant as the last if you can find the right way to see it.

Everyone's too hell bent on "fixing" problems in life. They are so zealous to do this that they find and define problems in borderline cases. If I listened to my "advisors" I'd be on enough anti-depressants to down a rhino and enough Ritalin to turn a chimp into a rocket scientist. Instead I use that energy to burn through life as intensely as I can. I may not be the most normal person on the block but god damn....the colours are bloody brilliant and I know I'm seeing them exactly as nature intended. Our species would not have prospered as much as it did without the full array of benefits that a full spectrum of personalities has provided.

But all that being said, only you and your daughter can determine whether a problem does exist and if it needs to be addressed beyond healthy lifestyle choices. It is worth mentioning that my definition of healthy lifestyle choices includes engaging proactively in social activities which for someone with a light form of Aspergers might be moderately challenging.

But it's the challenges that make success as rewarding as it is!

 

[greg]

i think everybody is somewhere on the autism scale, i tend to think of it more as a personality trait, rather than a condition.

The key is probably figuring out ways to exploit it, and use it to your advantage. I think there's at least one company that tries to find jobs for people with aspergers, because they can often have a much greater attention to detail, or concentration, but only for tasks that interest them.

 

[Steph]

Yes Nelly, I do have a son who is an Aspie. Extremely difficult to deal with, but you learn coping skills, and the things that come out of his mouth are worth the price of admission!

The hardest for me to deal with are his obsessions, (Rock Band, Guitar Hero) He has finished all of them on expert...he is 8. He tends to talk about them all day everyday...for the past 3 years. His councilor suggested that I put 3 magnets on the fridge, each symbolizing 5 minutes of "video game talk" He brings me a magnet and then proceeds to yap my ear off for 5 minutes about some song that he is playing. We take the magnet, put it on top of the fridge...wash, rinse, repeat. Until he has used all 3 magnets...then he is not allowed to even mention the games. Until the next day... Has been working fabulously for 2 years now.

His meltdowns can be overwhelming. If he has to go to my sisters house because I am working, I have to start prepping him days ahead of time. Anything that throws his schedule outta whack is guaranteed to bring on some pretty severe emotions. To deal with meltdowns, I give him what we call "Squeezy Hugs" He sits on my lap facing away, crosses his arms across his chest and I wrap my arms around him and hug him very tightly, he says this calms him down. After about 2 minutes of this he chills out enough to have a rational conversation about what has him is an uproar.

He is in a regular school, with the addition of a laptop, his fine motor skills are non-existent for writing. He types far faster than he can print. It got to the point that he was spending so much time making his writing legible, he was losing out on the learning. He is going into grade 4, reading at a grade 8 level. Crazy smart.

All in all, he is a great kid...it's me that is lacking in patience sometimes lol

If you need an ear, feel free to bend mine, I've been dealing with it for a looong time :thumbup:

 

[Steph]

Oh, by the way...for comic relief and to see what I mean about the things that come out of his mouth....
http://www.600riders.com/forum/bar/16876-mouth-kid-aspergers-syndrome.html

 

[DownrangeFuture]

Sorry, I was gone over the weekend. My parents are in town.

Personally, I distinctly remember having to learn to look people in the eye when I'm talking to them. Then I had to learn to not stare. I've recently come to the conclusion that I should just stare at their mouth, since voices get lost in background noise, and then it's probably about as akward as my "looking them in the eye". But at least I'm showing that I'm paying attention.

My daugther probably doesn't have full-blown asperger's. I probably do. More than likely for her, she has PDD-NOS. She still exibits many of the symptoms of AS. She has no impulse control, we have to tell her the schedule for tomorrow the night before and the morning of. She will chat extensively about Tangled or princesses in general, she normally is too shy to even hang out with her friends. But, she does experience fairly normal social imagination.

The doctor gave her the... I forget the name of it, but it's a little comic strip showing two girls. One girl has a ball and a basket, the other has a box. The girl with the ball leaves it in her basket and goes away. The other little girl moves it to her box. It asks when girl with the ball comes back where will she look for the ball? The conversation went like this.

Kairi, "In the basket."
Me, "No girl she'd look in the box, cause it's in there... ... Oh."
Doctor, after finishing laughing, "Yes, your daughter was right."

She gets that part, but totally doesn't understand why she can't be in charge all the time, or why other kids hate her for it. Although, we've been teaching her sarcasm since she was little. She still sometimes has a meltdown when she asks for something and we say "No." while handing it to her. My boy, when he was about 18 monts, just looked at us like we were absolutly nuts, took it, and hasn't had much problem with that since.

Now, with my daughter, I have one social goal for her a day. Usually very simple (she is 5). Yesterday was, "If you want the fudge when we get home, you have to play with your friends nicely for 10 minutes... Yes, I know you're shy, but we have to get over this okay? ... Yeah, so go play until your food gets here okay?"

Thank you guys for all the encouragement. I know that for most people it would be hard to share something like this, but for someone with AS (like-symptoms) who's current obsession is AS, they have to talk about it. People on the interwebs are safe people to talk to. And add in that my emotional IQ (yes there's a test for it) puts me in the 0.18 percentile, it kind of makes it easy for me to talk about. Honestly, had I run into a stranger that sparked my interest enough, I might have chased them down and talked their ear off about it. Thankfully with my wife, I've learned if she looks at me a certian way and says my name, she doesn't care about the MDD-IV-TR anymore (or ever) and I should stop talking about it, or whatever is my obsession at the moment.

Which currently happens to be to do a manual orbital insertion in XPlane and in a newer indie game called "Kerbling Space Program". And my daydreams revolve around building a rocket that would insert into an eccetric orbit with an apogee just below the geosyncronistic circular orbit, and then after 2-3 orbits (or how many ever it takes to be in the proper position to land near the launch site) it would decay the orbit just enough to re-enter and land near where I launched it. All the while having a payload of a digital camera so I can take my own satellite photos of earth.

That's why I don't ever share my obsessions anymore. The logisitics and cost of such a project would be beyond the scope of what I could do. Not to mention I would have to take trig, calculus, learn hardware arduino programming, relearn enough about radio communications to build a long range radio, then I should be close enough to start considering to learn astropsyhics because the rocket would need to be able to run independantly through the mission.

And, I did cut over half of this message out, BTW. I figured on a re-read, that most people probably don't care about the exact orbit, or burn calculations, probable rocket build parameters, my beliefs that I could insert a small satellite, etc.