Alone after 24 years :(

[oldfast007]

So my wife of 24 years has decided she doesn't love me anymore...don't wana whine too much but I am dying right now. I have left so she and my kids can stay in the house. I am just asking for prayers good wishes/vibes that somehow she comes around. But seems pretty set on the end. At this point I will wait for a LONG time...have never been abusive or unfaithful or anything i think was that bad. But i guess i blew it somewhere. Thanks for listening...

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[Botch]

24 years, damn.
Hang in there, bud.

 

[ChevyFazer]

Sorry to hear this, but yes hang in there, time heals all wounds.

 

[elus1ve]

We are never alone. Hang in there. If not for us, do it for your kids. They will always need a dad to look up to, whatever their age.

 

[Motogiro]

Hang tuff Brother. Our prayers and well wishes are with you.

 

[ckrockets]

So my wife of 24 years has decided she doesn't love me anymore...don't wana whine too much but I am dying right now. I have left so she and my kids can stay in the house. I am just asking for prayers good wishes/vibes that somehow she comes around. But seems pretty set on the end. At this point I will wait for a LONG time...have never been abusive or unfaithful or anything i think was that bad. But i guess i blew it somewhere. Thanks for listening...

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this modern culture is telling these women that if he's not killing himself to make you happy then you don't need him...

It's not our freakn job as men/husbands to make women happy...they are the masters of their own happiness...i tell my wife this all the time...

As a man as long as you were faithful, didn't physically and/or mentally abuse her, make an honest effort to work to make a living to support the family and made efforts to show her some attention...then you should be guilt free...

This is the philosophy I have for my marriage of 16 years...if she leaves me because she's not happy that's her freakn problem...of course I'd be upset but I'd be guilt free baby...

 

[Jman]

Its not called whining, it is sharing what is on your heart. Takes courage to do that. Sometimes one door closes and another one opens up. Hope things start looking more positive to you soon. 24 years is a long time and will take a while to work through, emotionally. Never stop believing in yourself and the positive effect on the lives you impact around you.

 

[GTPAddict]

Man, I hate it for you, I really do, but WTF are YOU doing leaving YOUR kids? Not a chance in hell I'd do it. She decided she wanted out, let her leave. There's no F'ing way I'd let my wife take my boy if SHE decided she didn't love me anymore (as long as I had done nothing wrong). I don't understand why the hell we (men) feel we need to give so much in when our women pull sh!t like this. She decided she wanted out, fine let her go, but YOU keep the house and kids! sh!t like this makes my blood boil!

 

[motojoe122]

Lots of positive support here:thumbup:

I trully feel you pain, I went through the same thing 3 years ago. Mine lasted 9 years but the magnitude of the hurt...nothing could compare.

As others have said, there is light at the end of the tunnel and time WILL heal all wounds. Keep your head up and keep on truckin'

Looking back I saw it coming, I just didnt want to accept it. When I did, the pain went away.

Please feel free to PM me if you would like to talk.

Joe

 

[agf]

about 8 years back after 15 years of married life, same same, but I lost my missus to another woman
cant compete! Not that its a competition but I lost anyway.

So I can identify with where your head is.
But I have to agree with the sentiment of freedom from guilt and open doors


I know how your heart bleeds
Patience, my friend, is a virtue
just still be there for your kids coz I bet they still love their dad

I am happy in my life now and I hope you will be too,
good vibes aimed your way

 

[Jman]

Man, I hate it for you, I really do, but WTF are YOU doing leaving YOUR kids? Not a chance in hell I'd do it. She decided she wanted out, let her leave. There's no F'ing way I'd let my wife take my boy if SHE decided she didn't love me anymore (as long as I had done nothing wrong). I don't understand why the hell we (men) feel we need to give so much in when our women pull sh!t like this. She decided she wanted out, fine let her go, but YOU keep the house and kids! sh!t like this makes my blood boil!

Dude!!!!!!! We don't know the dynamics of the situation. When someone shares their heart in a traumatic setting for them, it is a general best practice not to go apesh#t about it.

 

[UHcougarJohn]

Hang in there bro, best wishes and prayers sent. Hope it all turns out well for you and your family.

 

[jresch10]

Sorry to hear this. Is she open to any type of marital counseling? Sometimes it takes a neutral third party to help a couple see where they are failing each other. I will pray for you.

 

[FinalImpact]

Play the music that moves you and gain some perspective on where you are. It'll be tuff but promise us one thing - put those kids first! Even when they look OK and SAY they are "OK", its good bet they too are struggling too.
-> Our thoughts our with you . . . one day at time.

 

[mave2911]

My thoughts are with you, Mate, and I hope it sorts itself out one way or the other.

I for one respect that you removed yourself from the situation, if not for you, then it's easier on the kids for you not to be standing there demanding "No, YOU get out" to the ex-missus.

Avoiding a confrontation is the best for the kids, and your relationship going forward. (whether that means reconciliation or separated, you'll always be your kids father)

Best of luck!

Cheers,
Rick

 

[GTPAddict]

Dude!!!!!!! We don't know the dynamics of the situation. When someone shares their heart in a traumatic setting for them, it is a general best practice not to go apesh#t about it.

True, and I apologize for that, but I have gone through a similar situation as I know a lot of people have and I hate to see this guy give up so much. I am VERY sorry for what he has to go through, I truly am. I know the pain felt when someone you think will always be there takes your life away. What I hate more is to see this poor guy leave so much simply because she decided she wanted out.

To the OP, man I am very sorry for your situation, I really am. As so many have said there is a light at the end of the tunnel, just be strong and you'll come out OK. I didn't mean to go off like I did, and now what I've calmed down a little I wish I had thought it through a bit more so my previous post would not have been so strong. Loosing your wife and house is bad enough, but loosing your kids is the worst. Again, I apologize for the strong words man, keep strong!

 

[Kazza]

So sorry for you.

Can't imagine how you're feeling.

I hope that one day you will be friends-civil as you have kids involved.

Marriage breakups are horrible things. You're understandibly angry and hurt right now. That's natural.

Don't listen to other peoples opinions on your marriage or breakup. Only you and your wife know why. Outsiders can never really know or understand.

Get on with your life and enjoy it.

You have friends here.

 

[LesL60]

That is a cryin shame and there are no words to make it easier. Prayers will be said and best wishes are sent herewith. It takes two to be selfless and care more for the other, and especially the kids, than for themselves. Maybe being without will awaken in her the appreciation she once had for what she would give up. You are still a father and those kids need you now more than ever, and they always will. You can be their hero forever.

30 years of marriage and still counting my blessings every day. Neither of us would ever say it was anything but hard work and selfless commitment. Kids are grown and now it's just us again. I hope you and she can put back together and look back at your life together and be proud of what you've accomplished and what you endured to get it done. There' honor in that.

But if not, an honorable and fulfilling life is still yours to make. Talk to your buds, your trusted advisors, a counselor, or anyone with experience and wisdom. Don't do this alone. You don't have to. Blessings.

 

[cult67]

Hang in there; it will get easier before you know it. Now you will have more time to spend with your kids.

 

[oldfast007]

Wow I cant thank all of you enough for the support! This forum is the best. All can add is she would have left. I choose to leave because I love her that much and I want my kids at home with their mom. My kids are all 18 and over and it felt really good when they all said I am a good father and husband. I must admit I now know what its like love someone so much it hurts. My wife and kids are my world. I will always be there for my kids that will always be job one for me. My faith and family will see me through no matter the outcome. Again thank you so much for listening all.

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