You know your an Aussie when..........

[Humperdinkel]

* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

* You think it's normal to have a leader called Julia.

* You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.

* You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional.

* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'

* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

* You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.

* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.

* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.

* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

* Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.

* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'
And "Living next door to Alice".

* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

* You wear ugg boots outside the house.

* You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude,
While 'scuse me' is always polite.

* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.

* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.

* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.

* When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in
-o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.

* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.

* You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like ****. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.

* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.

* You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet
- to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.

* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man.
And the women make the Salad.

* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.

* You understand what no wucking furries means.

* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.

* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.

* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.

* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.

 

[Sith Lord]

lol :wav::aus:

 

[lytehouse]

Good one mate....thanks for the giggles this morning!

 

[Steph]

Here's our Canadian version Dan

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May you may live in Canada.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you may live in Canada.

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled a wrong number, you may live in Canada

If “Vacation” means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend you may live in Canada.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada

If you have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km — you’re going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.

If you find 2 degrees “a little chilly”, you may live in Canada

 

[Humperdinkel]

Sounds a lot like Melbourne to me Steph

 

[lytehouse]

Let's not leave out the Colorado isms.....

Winter statistic:

98% OF AMERICANS SCREAM BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A
SLIPPERY ROAD THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM COLORADO AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY SODA AND WATCH THIS.



You're from Colorado if you will eat ice cream in the
winter.

When the weather report says it's going to be 65 degrees,
you shave your legs and wear a skirt.

It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school to be
cancelled.

You'll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of
temperature.

You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And
then you make fun of them.

'Humid' is over 25%.

Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away
from the mountains.

You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one.

You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard.

You buy your flowers to set out on Mother's day, but try and
hold off planting them until just before Father's day.

You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your
coat.

You know what the Continental Divide is.

You don't think Coors beer is that big a deal.

You went to Casa Bonita as a kid, and as an adult.

You've gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended
for such activities.

You always know the elevation of where you are.

You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if
it's going to snow tomorrow.

You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos
still play at Mile High.

Every movie theater has military and student discounts.

Everybody wears jeans to church.

You actually know that South Park is a real place not just a
show on TV.

You know what a 'trust fund hippy' is, and you know its
natural habitat is Boulder

You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradoan when they
call it Elitch's, not Six Flags.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you.

Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is
beating the crap out of the Raiders.

When people out East tell you they have mountains in their
state too, you just laugh.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels
'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

 

[agf]

Sounds a lot like Melbourne to me Steph

Geez Humpy, I thought how harsh... until I read some of Steph's notes and then I thought, what a very keen observation of the similarities

If you have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada (well we all know thats Melbourne... no argument there, but where's the mention of rain????)


If the speed limit on the highway is 80km — you’re going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada (MELBOURNE!!!YES)



If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada(MELBOURNE!!!YES)



If you find 2 degrees “a little chilly”, you may live in Canada(MELBOURNE!!!YES YES YES)

 

[Bates121]

You know your from Los Angeles when....



You’re driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends.



You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder.



You’re sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day.



You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch.



You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.


You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it’ll be your favorite Laker star.



You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie.


You know it’s best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.



Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes”.


You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.



You’ve inadvertently learned Spanish.



You’ve got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.



In the “winter”, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.



You know what “sigalert”, “PCH”, and “the five” mean.


If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving


Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.



You can’t fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.



When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.


You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.


You’ve trespassed through private property to get to the “Hollywood” sign.



You’ve partied in Tijuana at least once.


You know Hollywood has a “lake”.


You don’t stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.



You’ve lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.



You’ve ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.



You think that Venice is a beach.



You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don’t notice.



You’ve started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON’T WALK sign started flashing.



Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.



You have a favorite Thai restaurant.



You think Manhattan is a beach.


When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: “With/Without traffic.”



You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An “818″ would never date a “562″ and anyone from “323″ or “213″ is ghetto/second class. Best area code: “310.”



Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don’t panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you’re on TV.


You know that if you drive a quarter mile in any direction you will find a McDonald’s or a Starbucks.



Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.


Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail


It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing



You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: “That ain’t even a 5-pointer” and go back to sleep.



You think you are better than the people who live “Over the Hill”. It don’t matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.


You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.


Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.


You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, ” They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space.”



You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass.


That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too.


You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $100



You personally know at least 5 people with agents.



You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.


You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don’t have any.


You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.



You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.


You’ve done something on a street corner in an attempt to get money (i.e. sang, tap danced, told jokes).



You’ve gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.


You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.


Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don’t notice.


The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.


You really can never be too rich or too thin.



The gym is packed at 3pm…on a workday.


Any invitation comes with, “Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic.”

You have never met a waiter that wasn’t really an “Actor.”


You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script – any script.


It’s sprinkling and there’s a report on every news station about “STORM WATCH ’99″


You call 911 and they put you on hold.



You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.



The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn’t caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.




All the “cool gyms” allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can’t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?


The hot seasonal party favor is a candied apple from Neiman’s. The apples are called “Skinny Dippers.”


The waitress asks if you’d like “carbs” in your meal.
​

 

[Dunno]

Skip to 3:45 to see if you can answer a few simple questions & pass the Aussie immigration test :thumbup:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxKmnjXoj8w]YouTube - ‪Good News Week - 9 May 2011 - Robert Pattinson‬‏[/ame]