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Look for it at the grocery store right next to the jumbo shrimp!
~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~
- Thread starter FinalImpact
- Start date
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
I use this joke when talking to new staff about communication, always gets a laugh.A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
Nelly
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide.
He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels.
He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with." He thought "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life."
He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.
He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch."
He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels.
He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with." He thought "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life."
He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.
He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch."
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this ****ing badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your fXXXXXXXXXXXXg BADGE!!"
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this ****ing badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your fXXXXXXXXXXXXg BADGE!!"
This is from -->> FACEPLANT (aka facebook)...
Its Harmless - although NSFW!!! despite its documentary theme....
A quick search will land you on-topic for a Good Laugh!
"Porn Sex vs Real Sex: The Differences Explained With Food" plays for 1:47"
Its Harmless - although NSFW!!! despite its documentary theme....
A quick search will land you on-topic for a Good Laugh!
"Porn Sex vs Real Sex: The Differences Explained With Food" plays for 1:47"
Oh dear, this is priceless.... Nothing against women.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AqmvpydWh4]Women Driving Best Fail Compilation - Uniformedia 2013 - YouTube[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AqmvpydWh4]Women Driving Best Fail Compilation - Uniformedia 2013 - YouTube[/ame]
- Joined
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- ColoradoSprings,CO
This is from -->> FACEPLANT (aka facebook)...
Its Harmless - although NSFW!!! despite its documentary theme....
A quick search will land you on-topic for a Good Laugh!
"Porn Sex vs Real Sex: The Differences Explained With Food" plays for 1:47"
Randy, WTH are you googling to come up with this stuff!?!?!?
It was quite funny though
Randy, WTH are you googling to come up with this stuff!?!?!?
It was quite funny though
Faceplant friends.... sick n twisted lot they are! I just didn't share the Facebook link as everyone hates that! Funny sh$t tho! Obviously 71% of relationships need some help!
OMG .. next time I go to Russia, I'm gonna wear my full motorcycle armor.. to walk anywhere near cars!
Particularly like the 20 second mark when gas station immediately catches fire
odachi13
Junior Member
From a few days ago, this photograph was taken outside a bike training school. (RoadcraftNottingham if anyone watches on youtube)
FYI if your not familar with UK roads, this is a pelican crossing where motorists must stop if pedestrians are on or near to crossing.
OMG .. next time I go to Russia, I'm gonna wear my full motorcycle armor.. to walk anywhere near cars!
Particularly like the 20 second mark when gas station immediately catches fire
1:45 into the Garage Door X2! OMG! How does that happen?? Ex-wife? Ex-house?? :sinister::sinister:
made_in_izmir
Banned
I think the problem is automatic transmission cars, high heel shoes and tight skirts. Another woman with high heels crushed 3 person and killed one of them with a Suv while trying to park , a few weeks ago in Russia.
made_in_izmir
Banned
ccew
Junior Member
Apparently works everytime...:thumbup:
sniff6
Be nice i am
I`d be grateful for any advice I can`t get this to work
If anyone of you electronic wizards knows how to connect a surround sound DVD/VCR, please let me know.
My neighbour keeps asking me for help and my wife is complaining about the time I am spending over there.
I'm really struggling here!
Here's a photo of what her set-up looks like...
If anyone of you electronic wizards knows how to connect a surround sound DVD/VCR, please let me know.
My neighbour keeps asking me for help and my wife is complaining about the time I am spending over there.
I'm really struggling here!
Here's a photo of what her set-up looks like...
I suggest more pictures might be more beneficial to rectify the problem fully
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Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk