Davey
Junior Member
So, the title might make you think I finally got what was coming to me on the infamous Paris peripherique (notorious ring road around Paris, full of idiot cagers and scooter riders). However, this is something a little different, and I would like to assure everyone that after the 'episode' - I am ok and completely uninjured!
It all started just before leaving work. My commute home is an hour minimum during the rush hour, involving high levels of concentration whilst lane splitting/dodging idiots etc. Such concentration levels require good cognitive abilities. As everyone knows, hydration is very important and conducive to said cognitive abilities. In addition, I don't like to carry extra weight on the bike if I can help it. So downing just over half a litre of water before hitting the road conveniently seemed to kill two birds with one stone. Winner!
It's pretty cold here at the moment (it was -7 Celsius when I left for work this morning), so as you can imagine I am not only ATGATT, but have a few extra layers on for warmth. I've found a kidney belt works wonders for keeping my lower back warm too. So I have on:
Thermal underwear
Work trousers with a belt
Kidney belt
3 layer textile jacket
Textile armoured trousers, zipped to the jacket
So all in all toasty warm! However....
On arriving home I was absolutely busting for whizz, but first I have to put the bike away in the garage etc. I sprint from the garage to the front door. My girlfriend is home - great no need to fumble with my keys! Girlfriend is taking a nap and has decided to lock the door. By this time my face is contorted and I am hopping up and down, trying to get the keys from my pocket. I have 3 sets of keys - the bike key, the garage and front door key, and the keys for all the locks I have. They are all in the same pocket of course, and as with all situations when you are in a hurry, you can guarantee the key you need will be the last one to emerge from your pocket.
The front door is finally opened. I make it to the bathroom with nanoseconds to spare before my self control and pelvic floor muscles dramatically fail me. This is all where I start to realise the DISADVANTAGES of ATGATT. That's right I said it! This should be All The Gear MOST of the Time!
I undo the first zip of the jacket, only to realise I have the inner lining zip to negotiate also. This enables me to reach the zip and button of the riding trousers which are undone all too slowly for my liking to say the least. I then realise I can't get to my work trousers as the kidney belt is in the way. 3 velcro straps later the kidney belt is undone, but I cant get it off as my jacket is still attached to my trousers! Jacket off, kidney belt off, outer trousers down - but damn it! Work trousers belt, button and fly zip, and thermals to go! All undone as fast as possible but all in vain as I felt the warm deadline pass form my bladder into my boots....
I see the funny side though, and am sure I'll be up for some ribbing on this one! It must have happened to some of you.....right????
It all started just before leaving work. My commute home is an hour minimum during the rush hour, involving high levels of concentration whilst lane splitting/dodging idiots etc. Such concentration levels require good cognitive abilities. As everyone knows, hydration is very important and conducive to said cognitive abilities. In addition, I don't like to carry extra weight on the bike if I can help it. So downing just over half a litre of water before hitting the road conveniently seemed to kill two birds with one stone. Winner!
It's pretty cold here at the moment (it was -7 Celsius when I left for work this morning), so as you can imagine I am not only ATGATT, but have a few extra layers on for warmth. I've found a kidney belt works wonders for keeping my lower back warm too. So I have on:
Thermal underwear
Work trousers with a belt
Kidney belt
3 layer textile jacket
Textile armoured trousers, zipped to the jacket
So all in all toasty warm! However....
On arriving home I was absolutely busting for whizz, but first I have to put the bike away in the garage etc. I sprint from the garage to the front door. My girlfriend is home - great no need to fumble with my keys! Girlfriend is taking a nap and has decided to lock the door. By this time my face is contorted and I am hopping up and down, trying to get the keys from my pocket. I have 3 sets of keys - the bike key, the garage and front door key, and the keys for all the locks I have. They are all in the same pocket of course, and as with all situations when you are in a hurry, you can guarantee the key you need will be the last one to emerge from your pocket.
The front door is finally opened. I make it to the bathroom with nanoseconds to spare before my self control and pelvic floor muscles dramatically fail me. This is all where I start to realise the DISADVANTAGES of ATGATT. That's right I said it! This should be All The Gear MOST of the Time!
I undo the first zip of the jacket, only to realise I have the inner lining zip to negotiate also. This enables me to reach the zip and button of the riding trousers which are undone all too slowly for my liking to say the least. I then realise I can't get to my work trousers as the kidney belt is in the way. 3 velcro straps later the kidney belt is undone, but I cant get it off as my jacket is still attached to my trousers! Jacket off, kidney belt off, outer trousers down - but damn it! Work trousers belt, button and fly zip, and thermals to go! All undone as fast as possible but all in vain as I felt the warm deadline pass form my bladder into my boots....
I see the funny side though, and am sure I'll be up for some ribbing on this one! It must have happened to some of you.....right????
