~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~

[Botch]

I'm on a barbeque forum, and one of the guys posted a pic of his new remote thermometer/alarm (I have the same model) that you can put on your nightstand during those overnight smoke sessions; it beeps if the temp in the grill drops too much, or the meat gets too hot.


He should've edited his photo a bit more carefully...

 

[Verharen]

I'm on a barbeque forum, and one of the guys posted a pic of his new remote thermometer/alarm (I have the same model) that you can put on your nightstand during those overnight smoke sessions [if you know what I mean]; it beeps if the temp in the grill drops too much, or the meat gets too hot [if you know what I mean].

:spank: :ban: :rof::rof::rof:


I think I'd better sign off for awhile before I get in trouble.

 

[Erci]

I'm on a barbeque forum, and one of the guys posted a pic of his new remote thermometer/alarm (I have the same model) that you can put on your nightstand during those overnight smoke sessions; it beeps if the temp in the grill drops too much, or the meat gets too hot.


He should've edited his photo a bit more carefully...

Fixed it for him

 

[Verharen]

Found on another forum (in their "squid of the day" thread). The "conversation" was there also - just too great not to include here as well. Is there some kind of "bike abuse" hotline out there?

SQUID DOES BURNOUT - YouTube

Conversation with you and your bike:
You- "hey bike watch how cool I am with this squidly maneuver"
Bike- "huh"?
...
(Begin burnout)

Bike- "oh we're going somewhere"?
You- "no I'm just gonna abuse the **** out of you here in the driveway"
Bike- "WTF?! Get off me you dumb ass! Can you see my coolant is boiling?"
You- "oh **** sorry bike. Are you ok"?
Bike- "...............get the hell away from me"


EDIT: sound off or NSFW! Sorry!

 

[sniff6]

Found on another forum (in their "squid of the day" thread). The "conversation" was there also - just too great not to include here as well. Is there some kind of "bike abuse" hotline out there?

SQUID DOES BURNOUT - YouTube

Conversation with you and your bike:
You- "hey bike watch how cool I am with this squidly maneuver"
Bike- "huh"?
...
(Begin burnout)

Bike- "oh we're going somewhere"?
You- "no I'm just gonna abuse the **** out of you here in the driveway"
Bike- "WTF?! Get off me you dumb ass! Can you see my coolant is boiling?"
You- "oh **** sorry bike. Are you ok"?
Bike- "...............get the hell away from me"

Never seen the attraction of burn outs!!! Defiantly does not do your bike any good,Or maybe im just too old.

 

[Botch]

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the
posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break,
and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him
for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with
it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. I
was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got
older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college,
medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was
Fred Johnson, MD.

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.
Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so
then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started
fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred
Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was
Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away
my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson
with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."

 

[Wh0M3]

Never seen the attraction of burn outs!!! Defiantly does not do your bike any good,Or maybe im just too old.

I agree, just a waste of money for a new tire. Of course that's provided you didn't do any other damage. :spank:

The worse part of the video is the guy didn't seem to care that his bike was boiling over.

 

[Water Bear]

The worse part of the video is the guy didn't seem to care that his bike was boiling over.

Agreed. Maybe it causes us pain because we paid for our own bikes with our own money? Watching the coolant just leak on the ground in spurts reminds me of an animal bleeding out. My brain is like: do something to stop it!

And the sheer destruction of that rear tire? I just bought new tires! The guy's a heathen!

 

[Verharen]

Regarding my "squid post" - I totally agree with all of you!

Some added info - apparently the "kid" lives at home w/his mom and wanted to give his soon-to-be-replaced rear tire a "proper" send off. I wonder if his mom kicked him out.

Did I mention my job is teaching 18 year old freshmen in college? He is a classic example of one of my students. *sigh* :shakehead: Mark Harris, you've got some 'splaining to do!

 

[Lefty]

TGIF, it's been a hellashish week at work this week where everything that could go wrong did.....:Flip:
Thankfully Mrs. Lefty and her sister who is visiting us from Missouri for a couple of weeks dragged me to our local Friday concert in the park night tonight to listen to a Zydeco band, drink some micro brew, eat some deli cold cuts and watch these two kids dance and try to push over the tree.....somehow all my worries for the week seemed to fade away.....

 

[agf]

just watched that moron leave the remainder of his tyre in the drive..... and on his hugger..... and on the bottom of his rear fender...... and probably over the garage door, and thats just the rubber, I'll bet he filled his moms house with the acrid smoke.
if he were mine..... over my lap and a if your ask me, never too old for the wooden spoon

what a moron

what a moron
I gotta say it again...


...what a moron

 

[Nelly]

Yo, Canada!!!

Canadian National Canthem - YouTube

That was some session just to get to the equipment.....
Nelly

 

[lytehouse]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

 

[Nelly]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Bloody brilliant,

Nelly

 

[FinalImpact]

Not exactly make you laugh but mad skills flying remotely and filming this. Take a look at all the fun and great views from an RC plane over NY city!

RC plane with camera attached flies over New York City. [VIDEO]

 

[FinalImpact]

English....
It all makes sense now...
Maybe this guy has a point. [VIDEO]

 

[Verharen]

English....
It all makes sense now...
Maybe this guy has a point. [VIDEO]

He was 102 years old when they filmed that!! He reminded me of my grandfather. :thumbup:

 

[Verharen]

It's not about the Nail...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg&feature=player_embedded

 

[Verharen]

For you Motojoe...and all BMW fans out there!

BMW S1000 RR. Dinner for RR. - YouTube

LMAO.

 

[Erci]

For you Motojoe...and all BMW fans out there!

BMW S1000 RR. Dinner for RR. - YouTube

LMAO.

Ah yes.. that was a popular ad. Unfortunately, it's been proven that it's a trick